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| Smashana Vairagya is very powerful and poignant. |
It was with
a heavy
heart that I
rode my bike
to the
mortuary of
the general
hospital in
Puttaparthi.
11:30 am had
been the
muhurtam
(auspicious
time) that
had been
fixed for
the
cremation.
The person
who had left
the earthly
abode was a
very dear
‘uncle’ who
had showered
on me love
like a
father. He
had occupied
a special
corner in my
heart by
simply
giving me a
large corner
of his. And
he had
passed away
peacefully
in his sleep
the previous
night. It
was a death
that
happened in
a moment -
very easy
for the
departing
soul but
very
difficult
for the
souls left
behind;
souls which
were
carrying the
bodies of
relatives,
friends and
well-wishers.
I joined at
the head of
the funeral
procession,
singing
bhajans and
hymns. Soon,
yet another
body was
consumed by
flames as a
beautiful
life
completed
its sojourn
on earth.
Death! What
an enigma it
is! It is
one of the
greatest
mysteries
that
continues to
confound
man. It
inspires
both awe and
fear;
inspiration
and dread.
While the
‘fear’ and
‘dread’
parts can be
easily
understood,
the reader
might wonder
as to why
the author
chose words
like ‘awe’
and
‘inspiration’
for
describing
death.
Smashana
Vairagyam
(detachment
of the
crematorium)
is an
automatic
detachment
that anyone
attending a
funeral
experiences.
The
detachment
overpowers
the
individual
as a
powerful
reminder of
the
temporary
nature of
everything
that we see
around. In
its wake,
the problems
that seem to
torment us,
differences
that we
promote,
negative
feelings
that we
harbour -
all just
melt away
into
relative
insignificance.
That is when
one is lost
in awe of
the Creator
and gets
inspired to
make his/her
life worth
something.
Of course
there are
other kinds
of
vairagya
(detachment)
that we
automatically
experience -
Abhava
Vairagya
(detachment
due to
non-availability
which is
akin to
calling
grapes as
sour),
Prasooti
Vairagya
(detachment
of a lady
due to her
labour pains
at
childbirth),
Udaara
Vairagya
(detachment
due to a
temporary
abundance
which will
disappear
once the
object of
attachment
becomes
scarce) and
Puraana
Vairagya
(the
detachment
one gets
while
listening to
divine
stories
which I
often
experience
when I pen
down my
articles) -
but
personally,
I feel that
the
Smashaana
Vairagya
is the most
powerful and
poignant.
A Question
Every time I
attend a
funeral, a
chain of
questions
form in my
head.
“What kind
of death do
I wish to
die?”
“How would I
like to be
remembered
after I am
gone?”
“How would I
like to lead
my life till
my ultimate
moment
comes?”
The average
lifespan of
a human
which is
about 70
years is
just a teeny
weeny blip
in the
history of
mankind. But
all of us
want those
years to
mean
something -
for
ourselves
and the
world
around.
Answering
the above
three
questions
would also
give us
answers on
what our
lives mean
for
ourselves
and for
others. For
each of the
above
questions, I
have a
little story
to narrate
for these
are the
stories I
keep mulling
upon when it
comes to my
thoughts on
my death.
They are
powerful
reminders on
what we
should do in
life and
give us a
peep into
the
magnanimity
and
magnitude of
God’s love.
Of course
the answers
to all the
questions
are linked
to my God
and best
friend,
Bhagawan Sri
Sathya Sai
Baba (my
Swami). And
if anyone
dives deep
into the
questions,
he/she will
find that
the answers
have to be
spiritual.
For, as
Swami asks
during the
Birthday
discourse on
the 23rd of
November
1975,
“How can you
expect
anything
impermanent
to give joy
which is
permanent to
you (body
and mind)
who are also
impermanent?”
“What kind
of death do
I wish to
die?”
It was the
day of the
festival of
Onam on the
27th of
August,
2007. Among
the devotees
who were
awaiting the
arrival of
Swami on
this special
day was
Mr.G.K.Raman.
Mr. Raman, a
long-standing
devotee of
Swami, was
seated in
the verandah
of the
mandir
by virtue of
him being
the Sathya
Sai Trust
convenor in
Tamil Nadu.
He was also
the director
of Sundaram
Finance
Group. He
had not
slept well
the previous
night and
that was
evident from
his swollen
eyes.
A concerned
person
seated next
to him told
him,
“Why don’t
you take
some rest
today
morning? You
can come for
the evening
darshan and
programme...”
“I must have
Swami's
darshan.
Then I will
go. Swami
will come at
8:30. Till
then I will
sit - it’s
not a
problem”, he
answered
with a
smile.
The person
was
surprised at
how Mr.
Raman seemed
to predict
the time at
which Swami
would come.
But then,
his surprise
soon grew
into marvel
as Swami
made an
appearance
in the chair
at about
8:30am!
Swami
completed
the darshan
round and
entered the
portico
where Mr.
Raman was
seated. Even
as he saw
his Lord, he
bent forward
in
prostration
- or that is
what his
neighbors
thought. A
few moments
later, they
realized
that he was
not rising
back and a
tap on his
back made
him collapse
completely,
all in
Swami’s
physical
presence.
Doctors - the
best in their
fields from the
SSSIHMS - came
there
immediately.
They tried very
hard, pumping at
his heart and
mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation.
Swami sat
watching the
whole seen quite
steadily. The
Veda chanting
continued, the
mandir was agog
with devotees
and yet the
verandah was in
a state of
freeze. Nobody
had witnessed
anything like
this before.
 |
|
What
a
way
to
say
goodbye!
In
the
Divine
presence
of
the
Lord. Mr.Raman
collapses
and
is
tended
to
by several people even as Swami enters the verandah. |
 |
|
A
file
photograph
of
Mr.G.K.Raman
and his
wife
with Swami - courtesy Radiosai. |
I had a
camera in my
hand but
could not
pluck the
courage to
go closer
and take a
picture. Mr.
Raman weakly
opened his
eyelids and
saw Swami
briefly
before
closing them
peacefully.
Swami then
asked for a
glass of
water to be
brought. He
gave it to
Mr. Raman's
son to offer
to his
father. He
told the
students to
start
bhajans and
said that
there would
be no
discourse in
the morning.
Mr. Raman
had passed
away
peacefully!
This whole
episode has
been
captured in
the 27th
August 2007
page of the
Prasanthi
Diary.
Now go back
and read the
statement
that Mr.
G.K.Raman
made to the
concerned
neighbour in
the verandah
of the
mandir to
understand
its
poignancy.
That is how
I wish my
end would
come to me -
with my full
awareness,
in the
presence of
my Lord and
Master.
“How would I
like to be
remembered
after I am
gone?”
It was in
1995 that
Mr.
Nandedkar
came to know
of Bhagawan
Sri Sathya
Sai Baba. He
was
attracted to
Swami
primarily
because of
Sai bhajans.
“Sai
bhajans” is
literally a
revolution
that is
happening in
the musical
and
spiritual
world. Sai
bhajans
encompass
all kinds of
devotion to
all forms of
God and also
give scope
for all
genres of
music. And
that made a
powerful
impression
on
Mr.Nandedkar,
a lover of
music and an
excellent
player of
the
harmonium.
His love for
music and
God found
fulfillment
in his
devotion to
Swami.
However in
Abu Dhabi,
where he
stayed, he
was not
allowed to
play the
harmonium
during
bhajans
because of a
policy. The
policy in
the centre
there was
that unless
a person was
a regular
for at least
3 months,
he/she was
not allowed
to lead the
singing or
play an
instrument.
And so, he
would go to
any house in
which
bhajans were
being held
so that he
could play
and sing in
the
community
bhajans.
However,
slowly, his
passion and
intensity
paid off and
he was
allowed to
sing and
play in the
centre too.
His love for
bhajans
became
legendary.
In fact,
during the
Akhand
Bhajan
(24 hours
bhajan
singing) he
would
volunteer to
play the
harmonium
for the
whole
programme.
One
particular
day in 2001,
Mr.Nandedkar,
was in his
usual self,
playing the
harmonium.
At one
particular
point during
the session,
he simply
burst into a
bhajan,
singing the
glory of
Swami as the
Divine
Mother -
Parthishwari
Jagat Janani.
Everybody at
the session
swore that
his singing
on that day
was
something
very
special.
Many were in
tears
following
the bhajan.
As the
bhajan
ended, many
even wished
that
Mr.Nandedkar
would
continue
singing and
not stop at
all. Like
every other
bhajan, the
Devi
bhajan also
came to an
end. As is
the
practice,
Mr.Nandedkar
had to hold
the key for
the next
bhajan. But
the same key
droned on
and on. When
everyone
looked
towards
Mr.Nandedkar,
he was lying
on the
harmonium, a
blissful
smile on his
face but no
breath in
his
nostrils! He
had
completed
his life
along with
his bhajan!
They say
that the
manner in
which a
person dies
speaks about
the manner
in which he
has led his
life. In the
case of
Mr.Nandedkar,
his death
indicates
the passion,
beauty and
devotion
with which
he led his
life.
And that is
how I feel I
want to be
remembered
when I am
gone - as a
person who
did anything
he did like
it was the
last time he
was doing it
in his life!
I am sure
Mr.Nandedkar
sang each
bhajan as if
it were his
last bhajan
and,
finally,
that feeling
turned out
to be true
with
Parthishwari
Jagat Janani.
“How
would I like
to lead my
life till my
ultimate
moment
comes?”
Keya aunty
has been an
‘aunty’ ever
since she
joined the
primary
school at
Puttaparthi
as the
Hindustani
classical
music
teacher. She
has taught
several
batches of
students
including my
Sai brother
Amey and my
wife Pooja.
In fact, it
was Keya
aunty who
was the
major
participant
in Pooja’s
heart-throbbing
tryst with
possible
punishment.
She moved
into her
seventies
and that was
when she
contracted
cancer of
the lung.
But she was
the least
bothered.
She did not
take any
medication
or meet any
doctor. She
continued to
sing and
teach,
placing
complete
faith in
Swami. Life
seemed to go
on smooth
for her till
a fatal
psychological
blow struck
on the 24th
of April,
2011 when
Swami shed
His mortal
coil.
Keya aunty
was
shattered
and
suddenly, it
seemed as
though
cancer was
eating her
away
rapidly. She
agreed to
see doctors
of all
systems of
medicine -
allopathy,
homeopathy,
ayurveda.
Nothing
helped but
she was not
bothered a
bit. What
bothered her
the most was
the question
whether she
would see
her Lord
once again.
She kept
praying to
Swami,
“When will
you come?
When will I
have your
darshan
again?
Please
lord... come
to me.”
She grew
weak and a
nurse was
appointed to
assist and
help her in
her daily
life. The
nurse slowly
grew
accustomed
to Keya
aunty
praying
aloud to
Swami,
talking to
Him and
asking Him
when He
would grant
her darshan.
One evening,
the nurse
was
surprised
when she
heard Keya
aunty
exclaim,
“Swami!
Finally you
have come!”
She rushed
into the
music
teacher’s
room. Keya
aunty was on
her knees,
on the
floor,
stretching
out her
hand. She
seemed to be
shocked that
the nurse
was standing
still. She
looked at
her and
said,
“Go get a
chair for
Swami to
sit.”
The nurse
could not
see Swami
but Keya
aunty seemed
to be
holding His
hand firmly.
She just
rushed to
the other
room to get
a chair.
When she
returned
with a
chair, Keya
aunty was
prostrate on
the floor,
tears from
her eyes on
the floor
and a
beatific
smile on her
lips. She
had got the
darshan she
had pined
for and,
apparently,
saw no
reason to
continue
life after
that. She
lived for
Swami and
finally,
passed away,
pining for
Him.
That is how
I wish to
lead my life
till my last
moment
arrives - in
pining,
waiting and
loving my
Lord, my
Swami. I
don’t know
about what
it will do
to others,
but these
answers
surely will
make a world
of
difference
to my life
and give
meaning to it.